If you have OCD or know someone that does, then this book is for you. However, if you do not have such a disorder, or do not know anyone that does, then this ebook is also for you. Why? Well, awareness is important, and you may find this ebook insightful and a good read. Then again, maybe you won’t, but it’s not like it’s costing you anything but your time, is it?
Let it begin
The notion of having complex thoughts is at best considered a mental illness by many. Well, let me tell you that I far from think that, and this ebook is all about those complex thoughts; written by someone that is an OCD sufferer, myself, detailing my journey in learning to manage and control my OCD.
While writing this ebook I am seeing a specialist for “thriving” on life. I will break down what I learn into easily manageable chunks, along with what I have digested from material on-line and of course my own experiences and management experiments.
This is my self-help ebook, this is my account for understanding “the mind” and understanding, managing and controlling OCD. This is real, there is no sugarcoating here.
Who am I?
To start, a run down of who I am will help familiarize yourself with my thought process and that of which I think and feel.
I was born and raised, and still live in a country that is more often than not known for it’s failures; more so than its excellence, the United Kingdom. I have two wonderful parents, of which I love dearly. I also have a brother, a wonderful partner and some very understanding close friends that have all supported me, daily, through my disorder and obsessive tendencies.
All of these people have gone through their own experiences when it comes to me and my OCD. There input throughout this ebook is represented as excerpts as I firmly believe one needs to see both sides of OCD, how it affects the sufferer and how it indirectly affects those around them.
At heart, I am a web developer and innovator. Because of my mind I am great at what I do. Arrogant? Well it’s not arrogance if it’s the truth. You see, my greatest asset is my mind, and this pretty much applies to everyone in the world, as such, I will praise it until the cows come home. However, it may be my greatest asset, but it is also my worst enemy.
I mentioned earlier that I suffer from OCD. Well, that hasn’t changed since I wrote it, and never will, because I strongly believe my OCD defines me, and that I can’t cure it, I can only learn to manage it. If you suffer or know someone that suffers from OCD this needs to be understood.
Let me clarify: I believe OCD cannot be “cured” based on the fact that I have previously tried to, but have not succeeded and with what I have read and already know about OCD, it’s not like a broken leg, it won’t “heal” over time, it’s not a virus that has a man made cure. If I’m going to deal with my OCD, I’m going to have to learn to live with it, learn to manage it and learn to control it.
I want you to get to know me because if you don’t, I am a stranger. And what’s a stranger? Someone you don’t know or feel comfortable around, an unknown quantity. Someone that, if you have a high level of social anxiety or low self-esteem, will make you feel uncomfortable, and if you suffer with OCD, this is a very bad thing. If you are wondering as to how I know this I suggest to re-start this chapter and notice that I have OCD, have the experience and therefore I “just know”.
For those of you without OCD, you will know enough about me to see the contrast between the logical me and the OCD me that I will detail throughout this ebook.
Where did I come from?
The obvious answer is the bird and the bees. But I’m going to give more on my history and more will be covered in detail as and when needed throughout this ebook.
After leaving College at 18, I started my career as a junior web developer. I was taken on and inspired by the first person I found respect for due to his accomplishments. As time went on, the next 8 years saw me progress and exceed in everything I put my mind to, usually the “web”. I strongly believe that this is due to my obsessive tendencies.
I actually like being obsessive, it makes me special, it makes me unbelievably good at most if not all the things I set my obsessive mind to. I learn fast, I adapt fast… well, that’s actually something to be seen throughout this ebook, you can judge that yourself.
In my years I have been lucky enough to have had more than most, all by my own doing mind, but, with the good comes the bad, and I’ve definitely had bad.
The bad gets worse, the worse gets awful. From finding out my brother has a mental illness known as Bipolar disorder, my parents becoming ill, one of which critically, to being divorced at the age of 25, I’ve had my fair share of hard times and I expect a great deal more.
This is not a “sob” story, others have been through a great deal worse than me, but these hard times drove me to where I am today. If you’ve been through a lot of hard times, ask yourself whether they drive you or cripple you. If they cripple you, you have the wrong attitude to life, and this is something you can work on. However, if the hard times do drive you, you’re already on the track to succession.
It’s very important to learn from the past, but it’s far, far more important not to dwell on it. Doing so will drive OCD to critical points. I will go into this in more detail later but for now understand that negativity drives that which affects you the most.
As identified, a significant aspect of my personality is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The former words, obsessive and compulsive are partly the reasons why I continue through life, whether that’s being successful, or through bad times. The latter word, disorder, is just a pain in the ass and has often become detrimental in my life, of which again, I will go into detail about throughout this ebook, and I’m certain that my family and close friends will help identify them too. With doom and gloom can come success and happiness, that’s an interesting name for a chapter.
Why am I here?
Contrary to popular belief I believe I am here to do great things. What these great things are I am uncertain of. But that’s also part of the game, that’s part of the reason I am here, to figure out what great things I can do.
I believe everyone is here for a reason. Some people are here to destroy, whether that would be the world or individual lives. An example would be Saddam and my ex-partner, respectively.
Others, are those here for the greater good, from musicians to entrepreneurs. Examples being Matt Tuck from Bullet for my Valentine to Steve Jobs, one of the greatest innovators of many generations to come.
Important fact: Without bad, good can’t be important and significant. Without good, bad cannot succeed. This means we must grab the bad by the balls and embrace it, because it isn’t leaving anytime soon.
This is actually something I learnt a long time ago, but often forget and wonder why there is so much bad in this world, but then I look around and I see the good that is out there too.
So who am I? I’m Steve Clarke, Im a web developer and I suffer from OCD.
Where did I come from? A world of good and bad.
Why am I here? For the greater good. To help myself and in turn help others.